Yes. I’m here. I’m alive. Not sure who may have noticed but I’ve been ‘away’ for about a week and a half. And this isn’t due to any reason in particular. Well. One reason….ridiculous waves of insecurity. In the past month, save the posts for the blog, I haven’t looked at my WIP. At all. I’m not sure why. I don’t know if it’s because of external factors like everyday life or humongous excuses but to be honest, I haven’t felt that overwhelming need to write and it’s scaring me.
Of course, we all go through stages of not being overly inspired or driven….but this has gone on for a while now and I cannot seem to get out of the groove.
It’s not that I think I’m not good enough. I know I can write. I need an antidote. What do you do to get out of your icky non writing funk? Just keep writing? Yes, heard that one before. Many times. I’m envious of the folk that actually do write everyday, regardless of how they feel. I know that schedules help me a lot but like exercise, I start fantastically and it just all goes downhill from there until the excuses make more sense than the discipline.
A while ago I mentioned that Greek music drives me to write. Especially with my current WIP as it is so emotionally charged and it really relates to the dramatic Greek lyrics. Last Saturday, I listened to some Greek music. I started experiencing that familiar stirring you get when you have to grab the first piece of paper you see and the closest thing to a writing implement – be it a lip pencil, eye liner or, lo! a pen or pencil – but no. I ignored it. And I felt so damn guilty for the rest of the day. As if I ignored a screaming, hungry, desperate child.
I don’t know where or how it began. I just know I’d like this gone. As of tomorrow, I’ll be posting as normal. I have to fight this little anti-writing demon. Send that sucker back to the pits of hell where it belongs!